When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
