She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Your penis caused this!
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
