So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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