put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
