Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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