I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
