what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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