I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
