Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
