HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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