Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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