I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
