Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
