idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
