do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
