one two three fourrrrnication!
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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