I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
