Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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