I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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