ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize