Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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