found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
