my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
