I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
they're like a gay fantastic four
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
