So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
