I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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