one two three fourrrrnication!
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
