I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
