I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
