my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
