dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
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