oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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