the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
