omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
