I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
