Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
