you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
