i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
