I heard we made out
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
