we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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