I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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