I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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