Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
