Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
