Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
