So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
