He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
