I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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