Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
