I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
