i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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